Grandpa Webb's blog

Thursday, 24 January 2013

Wild dog attacks Jessica Ennis

Who is this Grandpa Webb?

Jessica Ennis suffered serious injuries today when she was attacked by a wild dog. When her carer found her under the willow tree she had almost lost both her ears and one eye was looking a bit squiffy.

You may have guessed that I’m not talking about the golden girl of the London Olympics and runner up to BBC Sports Personality of the Year 2012, who is, so far as I am aware, safe and well.

Jessica Ennis is the name that my five year-old granddaughter gave to the soft toy dog she received for her birthday. The Olympics were in full swing and what better name for a sausage dog?  “Dachshund,” she says.

It's a fair cop. Wallace and a slightly second hand Jessica Ennis.Also living in the house is Wallace, a real live puppy. He’s a Cockerpoo, which sounds a bit rude but really means he is a cross between a cocker spaniel and a poodle. He is nine weeks old and likes Jessica Ennis very much.

In fact he likes just about everything except the new shiny kitchen floor which offers very little traction for a small puppy that is always in a hurry. He likes my two granddaughters, mum, dad, grandma and me. In fact anyone who comes through the door. 

Wallace has been signed up with the local vet and goes to puppy training classes. If you say “sit” he sometimes sits. He is fully insured, but not fully housetrained and he sometimes smells a bit.

Wallace has had a huge impact on the household. Holiday plans have been altered: “We’ll go camping so we can take Wallace with us.” Visits are cut short because “we have to get back for the dog.” There are plans to modify the back door to put in a dog-flap.

I think the camping decision came about after my daughter found a dog hotel on the internet, in which, for £350 a week, doggy guests have their own private room, with TV, and if you pay an extra £25, they’ll install a webcam so you can view your pooch wherever you are from your smart phone.

I wonder whether the webcam is good for business. If you tune in and he’s looking sad, some owners may be tempted to rush back early from their holiday to rescue the dog - and cancel the second week. Alternatively, if he’s having a super time they’ll want to get him out before they have to fork out £350 a week for the rest of his life.

Grandma and I are not doggy people. We have done tropical fish, rabbits, caged birds, a wildlife pond  and hamsters - none of which needed to be house-trained - but not a dog. Somehow the thought of trailing behind an animal clutching a small plastic bag to pick up the warm poo when he drops it on the pavement or in the park, doesn’t have much appeal.

As for Jessica Ennis, alas, since her ear damage, my youngest granddaughter has lost interest. Grandma is looking into the possibility of a bonnet, but somehow, I can’t see her making a comeback.  

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